Why Does the Word Accountability Make Us Feel So Uncomfortable?

How accountability strengthens relationships

Siena Beacham, Storytelling & Content CatalystNov 10, 2023 6:54 PM

Accountability. It's a single word, but one that carries significant weight and is an inherent part of building and maintaining strong, meaningful relationships. This is not exclusive to individuals but is also vital in the context of cultural and civic institutions forming authentic relationships with the communities they serve. As public entities, these institutions have an obligation to their communities to uphold their commitments, act responsibly, and make decisions that align with the community's best interests. When institutions practice accountability, they demonstrate their dedication to the community, ultimately strengthening their relationship and fostering trust. Yet, the mention of it often leads to discomfort. But why? Why does the notion of accountability make us squirm and feel uneasy? Our Associate Director of Data & Memberships, Lauren Benetua, lovingly posed this question during a new member Change Network onboarding session and we want to explore it with you.

To answer this, we need to dive deeper into what accountability truly represents. Fundamentally, it's about taking responsibility for our actions and decisions. It's about acknowledging our mistakes when we make them, making amends where necessary, and learning from these experiences to improve ourselves and our relationships with others.

Understanding Accountability

When we talk about accountability, what comes to your mind? For many of us, accountability is closely related to honesty and integrity. It's about aligning our actions with the values that we profess to hold. It's about standing up and taking responsibility for our actions, especially when those actions don't live up to our values. This is the essence of personal accountability.

Accountability isn't just about personal integrity. It also has a broader social dimension. Institutions - be they cultural, civic, or otherwise - have a duty to the communities they serve. These institutions are entrusted with a responsibility to act in the best interest of the public. But what happens when they fall short? What happens when their actions harm the community instead? They must take responsibility for their actions, acknowledge their failures, and take steps to make things right.

So whether we're talking about personal accountability or the accountability of institutions, it's clear that it is an essential part of our social fabric. It's a cornerstone of trust, integrity, and responsible behavior.

So Why Does the Word Accountability Make Us Feel Uncomfortable?

The discomfort stemming from accountability perhaps arises from its function as a mirror reflecting our fallibility and revealing the gap between who we say we are and who we actually are, as reflected in our actions. It's a stark reminder that we are capable of making mistakes with far-reaching consequences. This confrontation can be challenging as it pushes us to look at ourselves, to see our flaws and imperfections, and to acknowledge that we may not always live up to the ideals we set for ourselves. However, this process, while uncomfortable, demands we not only acknowledge our shortcomings but also make necessary amends. This is essential for both personal and institutional growth and development.

Think about a time you were held accountable, either at work, in a personal relationship, or even a casual conversation. Did your heart race? Did your palms get sweaty? Perhaps you felt a sinking feeling in your stomach, or a sense of dread. These sensations are your body's response to a perceived threat - the threat of judgment, disappointment, or conflict. It's natural to want to avoid these uncomfortable feelings. But what thoughts are racing through your mind in these moments? Are you worried about damaging a relationship, or losing face? Or perhaps it's the fear of confronting your own shortcomings, of admitting to yourself that you were wrong? What are the stories you tell yourself to avoid this discomfort? How often do you deflect blame, make excuses, or avoid the conversation altogether? And most importantly, how do these reactions serve you in the long run?

The Dangers of Avoiding Accountability

In our world, institutions of all types – from corporations to government bodies to non-profits – hold significant power and influence. With this power comes responsibility; a duty to act in ways that benefit and include the communities they serve. However, whether intentionally or not, these institutions can sometimes cause harm. This may occur when decision-makers act without fully considering the potential impact on the community or when systemic issues within the institution lead to harmful outcomes. Recognizing, owning, addressing and reconciling these harms is a critical aspect of accountability, a concept that is often misunderstood and can elicit feelings of discomfort.

If institutions avoid taking responsibility for harm done to the community, it can lead to severe consequences. For instance, a large organization may ignore environmental regulations, leading to pollution that harms local ecosystems and community health. Alternatively, a nonprofit organization could ignore complaints about systemic discrimination, leading to unequal treatment and community disenfranchisement. In both cases, trust and confidence can be eroded, leading to public backlash and loss of support. The community may feel betrayed and disrespected. Furthermore, the avoidance of accountability can perpetuate harmful behaviors or systems within the institution, leading to ongoing harm and damage. It's therefore crucial that institutions acknowledge and address any harm they've caused to uphold their duty to the community and maintain public trust.

Maybe It’s Not Bad After All

However, accountability should not be viewed solely as a source of discomfort or a punitive measure. Embracing accountability can have profound benefits for both individuals and organizations. For individuals, it can lead to personal growth, improved relationships, and a strengthened sense of self. When we take responsibility for our actions, we show others that we value honesty and integrity, enhancing our personal relationships and boosting our self-esteem.

For organizations, particularly cultural and civic institutions, accountability can foster increased trust and loyalty from the community. When these institutions acknowledge their mistakes and make a conscious effort to improve, they demonstrate their commitment to serving the community. This can enhance their reputation, lead to increased community support, and create a positive cycle of accountability and improvement.

Embracing Accountability

So, how can we shift our perspective and become more comfortable with accountability? A good starting point is to view accountability not as a burden or a source of discomfort, but as an opportunity for growth. When we make a mistake, we can treat it as a learning opportunity that allows us to grow personally and professionally.

It's also crucial to practice empathy and compassion, both towards ourselves and others. Perfection is an unrealistic expectation. When we or others make a mistake, it's crucial to remember that everyone is human, and humans are inherently fallible. By extending understanding and compassion, we can make the process of accountability less daunting and more constructive.

To bring it full circle, while the word accountability may initially stir feelings of discomfort, embracing it can lead to personal and organizational growth, improved relationships, and a stronger sense of community. It's high time we stopped shying away from accountability and started recognizing it for what it truly is – a catalyst for growth and improvement, and a cornerstone of authentic and meaningful relationships.

Ready to step up and hold not just yourself, but your organization accountable to the communities you serve? If you're feeling the call to action, yet uncertain about the next steps, don't hesitate. Reach out and schedule a chat with a member of our OF/BY/FOR ALL team. See how the Change Network can ignite your journey to greater accountability and transformative growth. Your community is waiting. It's time to start making a difference.

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