Siena: Courtney, what inspired you to become a leader in the nonprofit sector?
Courtney: So I've actually been laughing at this question internally since I read it because nothing inspired me. I did not want to be a nonprofit leader. And what's funny is when I was working at my previous job at Fractured Atlas, I had a check in — an annual review with my boss, the CEO at the time — and the question she specifically asked was ‘do you want to manage?’ And I was like, absolutely not. It is a combination of things that got me here. I do like to be in charge. I don't wanna pretend that it's humility, because it's not. I do like being able to have as much autonomy as possible.
I didn't want to manage because almost every manager I've worked for—I've had some really great ones—but almost all of the managers I've experienced were people who had to choose between being good people and being good managers. As a person, I didn't want to make that choice.
I saw people withholding information. I saw people who were kind, generous and supportive people, and the second they stepped into a leadership position, they turned into people who were distrustful, unkind, manipulative, or ruled by their insecurities. I thought, if that's what being a good manager means, I do not want that. I was happy with the idea of working for people where I could still engage humanely. I had a very supportive manager and some great mentors at that point. Still, a lot of the language around leadership models says that in order to be a good manager, you have to stop being a person. So my inspiration really came from wanting to do the opposite.
Two people in particular, Lauren Ruffin and Tim Cynova showed me this was possible. They actively spent their time asking ‘How can we manage differently?’ ‘How can we be effective leaders and stay good people?’ They held this as a practice. I realized it's hard, but it is doable. You have to work at it. There are ways in which systems and traditional modes of leadership say that being a good person or erring on the side of taking care of your people is a way to be taken advantage of. It’s also presented as the “lazy” way. Lauren and Tim showed me that it is not lazy at all. It is very hard to hold power in an organization while being intentional and transparent about how you use it.
My internal conversation shifted. I thought about how I would lead if I had the responsibility and knew that I wanted to maintain the things that are important to me, my values. As CEO of the organization, I have the most power. If I can't be a good person with all of the cards stacked in my favor, when will I be? I can use power to create an environment where the conditions allow that. To sum it up, I thought if I'm given the opportunity to lead, how could I maintain my humanity and support the humanity of my team?
Siena: What are some of the biggest challenges that you have faced as a CEO? How have you seen yourself challenged in this role?
Courtney: That's a great and complicated question. Some people don't understand leadership that doesn't include punishment. And so one of the challenges has been people not necessarily taking my leadership or authority seriously. I want to be very clear: I am in charge. I'm not somebody who doesn't want to be in charge. I started this conversation by saying, "I enjoy being in this leadership space." Just because I'm not using my power to punish doesn't mean I don't want to have and hold that power. I tend to be really clear about the things that I use my power for as CEO. Transparency for me is paramount, it's probably the thing I value the most in practice. Almost always, I will tell you what is going on and what I'm thinking about very quickly. And so the challenge is me saying, "I understand you don't like this, and I'm going to do it anyway. These are the reasons why. And let's talk about that. Let's talk about why you may not like what I'm doing." I am still going to hold the power I have. Others simply not believing in my authority doesn't mean I don't have it. There have been several challenges, but this is one of the biggest ones. I have to repeat myself often because when I say I’ve made a decision and explain why I want to do something, people still want to negotiate. I have to clarify that it’s not up for negotiation. I am also clear about the things that we can be in conversation about.
Second is the challenges of existing in a world where we're all burned out. There are challenges to everybody's humanity right now. Everything’s kind of up for debate on a political scale, particularly in the US. But the fact that our government has gotten to a point where it's asking, “well, are these people really people?” is a problem. We live in a country that was founded on the idea that some people were not considered 100% people. Existing in a space where your humanity is up for debate in the biggest halls of power impacts everybody's job and ability to exist in a world that is literally on fire. A world that is heating up, a world that is falling apart. It is a challenge to show up to anything, let alone show up to a job where we are trying to address organizational harm, oppressive systems, and deep tragedies of institutional racism.
Siena: Can I ask why you continue to show up in the face of all those challenges?
Courtney: This is probably a cheesy answer, but I love institutions because they are beautiful collections of history. If we imagine a perfect museum that hasn't stolen things, that isn't about extraction or imperialism—which I'm not quite sure exists—but the idea of this space is a collection of our history. It's a space where we can put objects that we find sacred and powerful (or even mundane) to hold, to understand, to send to future generations. We can see where somebody was 400 years ago, and what they were dealing with and where we are now. We could hold rituals, prayer and everything else in a space whose whole job is to protect, amplify and understand these things. I think that's beautiful. I think that is an amazing possibility. I feel the same way about theater. Imagine how the documentation of stories and the ability to tell them impacts people so much and then we get to revisit them. There are several plays that have started riots because people have felt so strongly about the content. The Astor Place Riots, for example. There have been plays that have inspired people to take to the streets. These institutions could be magical collections of our history—of our humanity. So, I show up because I I believe in having places where we can go and see not only who we were, but make plans for who we could be. We can see who we are, we can see what happened, and imagine what could happen. I just love institutions.
Why, because I believe both in the power the individual human and institutions can have — if done right. It's what corporations and institutions were built to do. As a person I can only protect myself in certain ways. I can only hold so much as a single individual. Physically I can only carry so much, but two people holding a basket together can hold so much more. Right? Five people with a big sheet. Just putting things in the middle can hold even more. If we view institutions as giant places to collect and hold things that we value, an institution could be an amplification of our most human selves. It should be a tool for us as opposed to something that is so often these harmful, concrete, jail-like buildings or these shrines to imperialism, colonization, or other types of violence.
The National Museum of African American History and Culture is one of my favorite spaces. I recognize that there is no such thing as a perfect institution. There are ways in which just by putting things behind walls we are changing them irrevocably, and I get that. But one of my favorite things in the museum is the audio recordings. In this particular museum it’s the audio recordings of formerly enslaved people taken in the early 1900s. What I love about these recordings is that there's a section where you can walk through and listen to the voices of formerly enslaved people. It centers their humanity. In the 1920s, The Works Progress Administration hired artists as creative archivists to document the stories of people who were formerly enslaved. The WPA was a civic program with government support. So individuals were basically paid to seek out survivors of enslavement to make records just to hear their stories. To say, this is what happened. Zora Neale Hurston was actually one of those archivists. The government paid people to go and listen to the stories of people who were impacted by slavery. Those recordings were held by the government for many years, but now you can experience them in this museum. Actual testimony survived this long. We can go see some of their pictures because the idea of documenting was important. The payments that Zora Neale Hurston got also informed her ability to write dialogue and lead us to art. So it's this intersection of government support, humanity, history and art. When our institutions can work together something beautiful can happen. That is what I think an institution can do. When it has humanity and people's stories and their agency at its center.
That’s the long answer to your question. The short answer is that I do this because I genuinely believe in it. In a way that I know sometimes sounds corny in 2023 to say you still believe in institutions. But I do.
Siena: How do you measure success within your organization and what does progress look like?
Courtney: One of the things we tell our Change Network members is that our measure of success is the health of our relationships. One of the things I measure is whether or not people feel supported showing up to work every day. The problems we are addressing—racism, white supremacy, institutional harm, the negative impacts of capitalism, systemic oppression, etc. — are much bigger than any one of us can address, even as a team. I think being able to show up to the problem, every day, is a measure of success. I focus on creating healthy and safe environments where our best and brightest are still equipped to show up and work on these problems. I'm always excited to know brilliant people who are actively working toward success because the world compels us to fall into the dark hole of apathy and simply give up. The joy of stepping outside of it is magical.
Sometimes it can sound like I don't have a clear vision or strategy for the future, but I absolutely do. How do we show up in alignment with our values? How do we stay present to what's happening around us? I can't tell you how the world is going to be different a year from now. What I can tell you is that we are going to continue to operate the Change Network that invites organizations to step into positive change with us, support them, and coach them through that process. I can't control whether organizations are ready to take this leap with us, but what I can do is stay present, open and welcoming to people who are willing to take the necessary steps to try and dig ourselves out of this hole. Every organization and Change Network member who shows up for this is a sign of success in my eyes.
Siena: So your strategy for the future is your strategy for the present?
Courtney: Right. Truthfully, it also involves practicing living in the future. I always say, “We can't build tomorrow's reality with tomorrow's resources.” You have to build what you want tomorrow, today. You can't plant crops on Monday and expect food on Thursday. Months before you actually need the crops you must sow the seeds, till the ground, tend to the plants and invest in that future. My strategy is really about focusing on what I am doing today to set up and build better, sustainable conditions for tomorrow.
Siena: What advice would you give to other executives and leaders who are trying to create positive change within their organization?
Courtney: Who you are when you have power is who you are. To quote adrienne maree brown, “You are what you practice.” If you are the most powerful person in an institution you are the most supported and you have the most options available to you. If you can't be brave in this position, then when will you be brave? Take risks. If you can't take risks that are aligned with your values, then accept that you will never step into your values with bravery.
When people have less power, or there are real consequences and punishments present, I understand why people don't always make ideal decisions. People have to do what they have to do to survive, and only you can know what your limits and your safety are. However, if you've gotten to a leadership position where you have power and you continue to use it to harm, be afraid or manipulate those beneath you, you're practicing the worst parts of yourself. The only way to be brave is to live our values because every day we are practicing something. What are you practicing? Be intentional about what you're practicing and if you're a little scared, that’s good. Keep going! You're not going to get more brave by not doing it. You have to practice taking that risk. You have to practice living in your values. You have to practice taking care of yourself. If people reject you, challenge you, aren't on board or operate from their own fear, you have to practice standing true to your values with certainty. Discernment comes with practice. Experiment and understand what your values are. Figure out the things that you feel aligned with.
Everything is about relationships. Oppressive systems like Capitalism try to pretend that it’s not. At the core, we are one human talking to another human trying to do something together. I’ve said this before: I believe in magic. But I know a type of magic doesn't exist and that is conjuration. We cannot just make things out of thin air. We can build things collectively. I believe there is magic in human connection. I believe there's magic and human energy. But knowing that conjuration doesn't exist, means everything you're looking at, apart from the natural in the world, humans made through relationships. It started with someone looking at their neighbor and saying, “Hey, I want to build this thing. Can you help me?” In essence, this becomes the world's most powerful phrase. Can we do this together? What’s wonderful is that everyone has access to that phrase. So how are you going to use it? What are you making through your relationships?
Stay tuned for more reflections and insights from Courtney in the following weeks! Subscribe to our blog for weekly updates to your inbox and follow us on social media to not miss the newest posts.